I’d suck a dick for some crab right about now
Katelin and I were talking about salad and she asked all jokingly seductively “want me 2 toss ur salad” and she had no idea what that means.
Whose dick I gotta suck for the dining car to open again I need some fucking coffee
if we didn’t waste all our time, money and resources on war, we would probably have a pretty decent sex robot by now
last time i chekced i stopped talking to her like 3 messages ago get with the program dog
YEAH YOU STOPPED TALKING TO HER AND HAVE SINCE TALKED TO OLY AND THEN ME ABOUT IT WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ANYONE ABOUT IT WHY DIDN’T YOU SLINK AWAY BACK INTO WHAT I PRESUME IS A BIG PILE OF DIRT AND ANIMAL SHIT IN SHAME INSTEAD OF TALKING TO EVERYONE ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE NO ONE’S BUSINESS
yo last time i chekced you don't have to be of legal age to masturbate. i'm sure there are girls younger than her who masturbate frequently. excuse me for not having mind-reading skills though sorry
jesus christ you’re a disgusting person you sent an underage girl a question about masturbation and she expressed disgust and discomfort and told you to stop and you just keep fucking talking about it what is the matter with you why are you doing this
Sometimes I don’t know if I’m horny or if I just have to take a shit
i’d be much more inclined to watch the World Cup if it was gay porn
2 worlds 1 cup
hey I just met you
and this is crazy
but here’s my number
can I shit on your chest?
I’m gonna write a book called Fifty Shades Of Off White and it will be about a married couple’s very vanilla sex life.
They’ve tried. God only knows they’ve tried. No one else will do it for them.
this one time I bought sparkly mod podge, a 1 kg brick of blue gummy dolphins and three magazines about dogs and various other animals and I actually did explain it as a sexual thing, I think there was socks included but jesus cashiers and nosy.
That isn’t even weird though? That’s just all the stuff you need to do the Alabama Rock Slide. Look it up it’s a pretty common sex thing.
I went to Safeway and got glue and food coloring for art stuff and coffee filters because I am out of them and the cashier looked at me weird like what a weird collection of things to purchase and I was really temped to look him right in the eye and say “it’s a sexual thing.”