Don G. City

let’s redefine gravy as being between one man and one woman

let’s redefine marriage as like a small gravyboat for taking shots of gravy at parties

i cant belive its already been a whole year since obama was re elected

162 plays

jillsandwich:

David Bowie - Modern Love

there are 11,467 children born in 2005 named dane cook

rabioheab:

it’s christmas eve not christmas and steve

Oh my god it’s Fahrenheit not Celsius

I bet Napoleon and hitler looked at te weather forecast and saw it would be sunny in Russia and didn’t realize that is when it is the coldest

check out this bizarre fucking weather. The sunny days are always the coldest. The temperature is going to rise over thirty degrees this week.

I wish I could just throw on some shoes to walk the one block to the store but no I have to wear nine sweaters, a coat and a dead cat on my head to simply not freeze to death

“Jesus she could do so much better than him” is sort of like a recurring theme in Moscow

When I got off work 10 hours ago I was about ready to pass out from exhaustion so you’d think I’d have gone to sleep by now but nope I can’t sleep at all I have to get up in four hours

*wears jeans instead of dress slacks to work* *walks away from huge explosion* *whitesnake plays on full blast* “mess with me, fucky”

Fucking glitter *turns showerhead to powerwasher mode*

Subbing in an elementary school art class for a week is more or less like getting paid to have a glitter glue enema.