October 2011
Cristina Cabrera: people can decide to have gay orgies regardless of whether or not i am going to nonchalantly walk into it
Cristina Cabrera: but like
Cristina Cabrera: who even would put dongs in my locker..........
Cristina Cabrera: i don't even use my locker
Cristina Cabrera: what if they'd done that
Cristina Cabrera: i never would have known
I told Cristina to make up a story about seeing a...
Cristina Cabrera: oh jesus
Cristina Cabrera: well okay
Cristina Cabrera: let's say that
Cristina Cabrera: i went to school today
Cristina Cabrera: and there were no males
Cristina Cabrera: anywhere
Cristina Cabrera: they were all gone
Cristina Cabrera: and it was really strange and no one knew where they were but we all just went on doing school like things because we didn't have any other option
Cristina Cabrera: so i go to my art class
Cristina Cabrera: and we forget about it because that class is tiny and the out of ten students and a teacher there's only one guy anyway
Cristina Cabrera: and then when we go out to break we kind of remember again and it's weird but literally no one knows what is going on so it's whatever
Cristina Cabrera: so then i go to my next class and it
Cristina Cabrera: s half empty cause everyone is gone
Cristina Cabrera: but i have to learn physics from my dumb as hell blonde teacher with the bad roots
Cristina Cabrera: and then i leave class five minutes early to go to work because i work during lunch selling the food
Cristina Cabrera: and the adults are gone too
Cristina Cabrera: all the guys are gone
Cristina Cabrera: so when i get there my bosses are there and most of my co-workers are there but half the kitchen staff is gone
Cristina Cabrera: so we have to work really hard to keep up with anything except half our customer base is gone too so it's not that much extra work
Cristina Cabrera: and i leave work and i go sit at the tables to eat my lunch and i'm wondering what i'm going to do in my last class because there will be no teacher
Cristina Cabrera: since he's a guy and all the guys are gone
Cristina Cabrera: so i go to class except before i go there i stop to wash my hands in the girls bathroom
Cristina Cabrera: and when i go in the girls bathroom every single guy in the school is standing in there butt-naked staring at me
Cristina Cabrera: and so i kind of edge out
Cristina Cabrera: awkwardly
Cristina Cabrera: and am like there's a giant gay orgy in the girls' bathroom................
Cristina Cabrera: and i go to class and we just sit there for the last hour and a half because our teacher is naked in the girls' bathroom and so naturally he can't teach us anything at the time
Cristina Cabrera: then i go home deeply disturbed
Cristina Cabrera: the end
My ideal bodytype is the legs of a cheetah, the...
Anonymous asked: I am going to punch you.
Anonymous asked: What are you majoring in? What classes are you currently taking?
Watch
September 2011
1 tag
dadsmadtoday replied to your post: AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT REFERENCE ON ARCHER
probably the best cartoon on tv right now
I concur.
1 tag
rick-moranis replied to your post: frizl replied to your post: AN ARRESTED…
WHAT WAS THE REFERENCE
Archer was at boot camp and he couldn’t get over the wall
1 tag
frizl replied to your post: AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT REFERENCE ON ARCHER
god i love archer so much
It’s so fucking perfect oh my god
Moving to Canada because I want codeine in my cold...
AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT REFERENCE ON ARCHER
Stefani Joanne "Lady Gaga" Angelina Germanotta ...
“Baby she was Born That Way RIP”
Tom and Olga would have the whitest kids ever
with the most colorful hair ever
1 tag
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Ready, Set, Peace *fires pistol inside*
Stand Up Comedians You Should Be Listening To
sexychrismellogold:
Patton Oswalt
Louis C.K.
Eugene Mirman
Paul F. Tompkins
Dead Guys
Bill Hicks
Mitch Hedberg
People I Really Like That I Could Totally Understand People Not Liking
Reggie Watts
Brian Posehn
Maria Bamford
And watch Comedians of Comedy: The Movie
A perfect post
1 tag
tommilsom replied to your post: How do I tell my parents I’m harboring illegals in my butt?
Just remember: a picture’s worth a thousand words.
This is the last time you convince me to take pictures of the inside of my butt, Tom Milsom!
How do I tell my parents I'm harboring illegals in...
Frankly I'm just gonna vote for the candidate with...
1 tag
sheercalculatedsilliness replied to your post: bansand replied to your post: Saw a kid with “RON…
god libertarian taking public transit I laughed til I cried 100% pure family fun
Yeah.
To me, Libertarianism is the FREEDOM to build your own infrastructure.
But whatever I don’t care if the fucking 16 year old misanthrope rides the bus who am I to stop him I should’ve taken a...
1 tag
fuckthepainaway666 reblogged your post: Saw a kid with “RON PAUL 2012” written on the back of his windbreaker in purple sharpie on the public bus the other day.
what my last post was based on^
You ruined a perfectly good windbreaker (or tarp?) just for this one joke.
I guess that’s worth a follow.
It was the kind of windbreaker with the strings at...
1 tag
bansand replied to your post: Saw a kid with “RON PAUL 2012” written on the back of his windbreaker in purple sharpie on the public bus the other day.
i dont get it
Well first of all he is wearing one of those blue windbreakers. Like I didn’t now people wore those still. And not only that but he wrote “RON PAUL 2012” in fucking purple sharpie on the back. And...
Saw a kid with "RON PAUL 2012" written on the back...
Gay-us ex machina
A tool in television and movies in which a character inexplicably realizes they are gay and have been gay all along.
It's only a matter of time before someone on the...
No seriously though I'm gonna do a real call in...
My old church had gargoyles but they were the kind...
I wonder what the Catholic Church does with all...
Catholic Mass AKA Sitting inside God's Shame...
Catholic Mass is really cool though because...
Why even bother going to community theater when you can go to Mass for free every Sunday.
I now associate getting boners around my...
As if Catholic Mass wasn't shameful enough, there...
Then they give you wine and cardboard circles that you eat.
1 tag
fagomatic replied to your post: The two weeks after I got my wisdom teeth out were probably the best two weeks of my life I think.
can’t wait to get mine pulled over one of the holiday breaks im going to be high for two weeks
Fucking ice cream and not feeling bad about laying bed on the computer all day. I miss it.
Professional Ana
I don't know who this Ana girl is but skinny girls...
1 tag
sea-smith replied to your post: I’m pretty sure everyone has a blood fetish after watching Ryan Gosling in Drive.
god, i love that man
He is the perfect man.
I'm pretty sure everyone has a blood fetish after...
2 tags
The two weeks after I got my wisdom teeth out were...
2 tags
numberninedream replied to your post: New World Odor: ‘Someday’ by Justin Bieber (fragrance collection for women)
dongcity you are a precious boy
shitmountain replied to your post: New World Odor: ‘Someday’ by Justin Bieber (fragrance collection for women)
dongcity you are a precious boy
I will not sit idly by and let such accusations be flung at me. I WILL SEE YOU IN...
When I typed “teenbaby” into a word document, Microsoft put the red squiggly line under it. This made me feel googoo, gah gah and MA MA DA DA WAAAHHHH WAHHHHH BABY HUNGWY!
New World Odor: 'Someday' by Justin Bieber...
New World Order: Every Friday is Casual Friday
The new facebook layout somehow makes it even more...
I think it's funny how frat bros probably used to...
It's so nice to see that Based Mike bagged a babe
